[I preached this sermon at the funeral service for a mid-20 year-old young man who took his own life. Names have been changed.]
I am Gabe Sylvia, the senior pastor at Christ Our Hope church in Wake Forest, NC. My wife, Kim, and I—with pastor Tim and his wife, Chrissy—have been serving the [] families for many years; we are grateful to be here to serve them as well as [] and your families. Thank you all for joining us for this service of worship to the Lord who is our hope.
Beloved, funerals take many forms these days. While there will be a time of remembrance and story-telling at the luncheon following, this afternoon we, the friends and family of Charles, are gathered so that we might find hope that is higher than our sorrow and mercy that is stronger than our weakness.
I am a student of church history particularly because my faith tradition goes back to the English Puritans. I find the Puritans compelling because they were pastors who cared deeply for the souls of their people. That richness for me is most meaningful when they wrote of what is called the “dark night of the soul.” It describes what David wrote of in Psalm 6:
I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
The “dark night of the soul” like this—like what has descended upon us—descends upon all of God’s people in varying degrees. For some it is a shadow of foreboding at the edge, for others it’s a slowly passing cloud and for some (like it is often for me) it is an all-encompassing blackness—like a room whose darkness is thick. The Bible tells us none—even those who put faith in Jesus Christ—is immune—this is why Psalm 23 means so much to us, right?
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Our questions today abound, don’t they? Our doubts about what we believe about God, they soar. Our regrets flood our souls so that we feel drowned all the time. That we are finite with few answers and so many questions seems unjust and unloving. Funerals are always emotional moments and rightly so: they draw our attention to the end of an earthly life and that’s hard enough when we lose someone dear to us. But how much more do tragic deaths such as Charles’ spike our emotions? Shock, disbelief, rage, bitter grief—emotions we might otherwise control register in the red—all of them.
Let’s ask the question that I’ve heard many times, “How could God allow such a thing?” It’s not a bad question; it’s not a sinful question; it’s not an inappropriate question. For those of us who take the teaching of God’s word seriously when it speaks of the true and Almighty God sovereign over all He has made…“How could God allow such a thing?” is the question. It turns us to the One who might give us answers in His word but definitely gives us comfort by His Spirit. The question is desperate in that it is an answerless one and we all know it. Though we ask for answers in desperation, none has a road-map of his future. What’s more, if the Lord gave us His reasons for this act of Providence, what would we do?
- In our sorrow, would we agree?
- In our anger, would we submit?
- In our regret, would we proclaim God is just?
But at the same time does this hour mean we must skip past all the questions that scream for answers as if they don’t matter? Must we coat all of this with thin veneer of Christianese as if this was all “OK” or “good”? Must we just “buck up” as if we’re not crushed inside? No, beloved. This is how all the laments in God’s word actually work: those who cry out to God do so with painful honesty—we must. For only when we look honestly can we then see hopefully. If we fail to do this, we won’t be able to make our way from what is real to what is true. And this is what matters: in times of inexplicable tragedy like this, facing what is real is crucial in getting to what is true. And this is where hope begins. Why?
- Only what is true makes sense of what is real because what is true never changes.
What is real is that a father, a companion, a brother, a son, a grandson, a cousin, a friend, Charles, took his own life. The heaviness and gripping brokenness of this world reached down to the bottom of his soul and would not let go. His soul was punched down by the horrors of this fallen world and it did not get up. No one is to blame for HIS act. Charles had purposed in his heart to bring his confusion, his angst, his grief and his trouble to an end—his way. We might want to find reasons why a young man might do such a thing? Mitigate those reasons so this might not happen again—those are good things to do but they aren’t certain.
But we cannot minimize the true bleakness of this fallen world that often powerfully crashes into a saint’s soul. If we minimize it we will misunderstand it and those who do not minimize it—even those who do what Charles did in response. But we who have suffered loss in this life know better. We can know this darkness and we know its gripping power. We dare not excuse or minimize how Charles decided to deal with the bleakness; he did what God’s Word forbids. But we can look at it and at the barrenness of this world and understand it. With Charles we can all say, “Yes; at times the dark is so very dark—even to the saints—and there really seems no way out.” Job admitted this; King David admitted this; the prophet Jeremiah admitted this—we as God’s people must admit this too.
Beloved, this is what is real. As Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble…” The tragedy of Charles’ death is real but it is not the final statement of what is true. Jesus is the final statement of what is true. He said, “in this world you will have trouble…but take heart, for I have overcome the world.”
In John’s gospel, he records seven (7) statements of Jesus—the “I am” statements. In different contexts, the Lord uses these statements as ways to describe who He is and what He has come to do. Today I want to look at one of them that is particularly apt:
- “I am the Light of the World.”
Who Jesus is to those who put their trust in Him is the truth that informs how we look to what is real. This statement meets us and connects us—in our dark night of the soul—with our true hope and help. Our text will be John 8:12 and the point I want to make from it is this, “Because Jesus is the light of the world, we who are afflicted in the dark have hope beyond the darkness.”
In this text, Jesus makes his 2nd (of 7) “I am” statement. This statement, like the others, has two parts: a declaration and an invitation. The declaration: 8:12a
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world….
Jesus speaks to His adversaries, the Pharisees. As we see repeatedly in the gospels, that group of religious leaders, highly educated in the Law of Moses, did not see Jesus as the Messiah, the Savior, they waited for. As a group, they were in the dark, so to speak. On a different occasion, He called them “blind guides” that is, those who lived in spiritual darkness. He says of them as they represent the world:
… the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.
To them (and to us), He proclaimed, “I am the Light of the world.” What does this mean, then: “I am the Light of the World”? The imagery here draws a significant contrast between the Light of the Lord and the dark of the world. He is not of the world; He is above it; beyond it; He has passed through it into the light of the glory He had with His Father in heaven. The world under the curse of sin has brokenness and chaos and trouble in everything—it is not as bad as it could be, but all of it is at least a little broken or “dark.” Into that darkness comes the Light for the nations:
For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. [Psalm 36:9]…I am the Lord…I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations. [Isaiah 42:6]
Jesus comes to us as this Light and says, “In the world, is the dark; in Me is the light.” So, those who have put their faith in the Lord, have the Light of the World within, that is a lamp for our feet, a light to our path—we can know and see the way of hope and walk on it. As the Light of the World, He proclaims that with Him, this journey of life—that He says is one of affliction and tribulation—can be walked in hope and the end of that journey will be the Father’s land.
So this is the truth: Jesus is the Light of the World. And does He keep this to Himself? No. He makes invitation to all in the last part of the verse: 8:12b
Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.
This is why He came. John 12:46:
I have come into the world as light, so that whoever believes in me may not remain in darkness.
In other words, he who believes in the Lord Jesus—with grand faith or with mustard seed faith—that one does not remain in the dark of condemnation and judgment but in the light of salvation and freedom. This is what is true even if what is real in a saint’s life is affliction and trouble and distress. All are invited to follow Him by faith so we will not walk in the darkness without hope. That is, we will live with purpose and with the on-going and never-ending presence of the Lord. To have the light is to be on a journey because Jesus says those who follow Him do not walk in darkness. That is: We do not live alone; we do not wander aimlessly; we will not get lost; we are never without hope.
- This is the light that is life and that leads to life. When we have this light, we have life. And because Jesus is the Light and He is alive, we will always have the light of life.
This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.
What does it matter? The reason for our gathering comes crashing down on us, doesn’t it? The truth is those who follow the Lord Jesus by faith—grand and unshakeable faith or flickering and weak faith—have within us the light of life. And Jesus spoke of what He will do for us in John 6:
And this is the will of [the Father] who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” …No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day. … Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life.
“I will lose nothing of all that [the Father] has given Me.” “I will raise him up on the last day.” “Whoever believes has eternal life.” These are true statements from the mouth of God Himself. This light that He gives is inextinguishable—we cannot put it out once the Lord turns it on. Jesus’ words are mingled in with the Psalms and the lamentations and the stories of afflicted biblical saints and troubled historic saints (like Martin Luther or Charles Spurgeon)—saints who had been given the light of life and had also been gripped by the dark.
- The question is: does the light always beat out all the dark? The answer is “No.”
- But that’s very different than can the dark put out the light? Absolutely not.
The Light of Life is the presence of the Lord’s Spirit in all who believe—the Spirit of the One who was raised from death because He is life. Death did not put out His light and no amount of darkness in this world can put out His light in us—ever. Beloved, what is true is that at the very bottom of a troubled saints’ soul, when reality feels like there is nothing but darkness, the truth is there is the light of Christ. When you light the smallest candle and bring it into the darkest room: there is light that the dark cannot put out.
I have spoken to many people who have shared of Charles’ faith in the Lord. We want to take comfort in what we know of his faith. But now we doubt that faith, don’t we? We ask how can there be faith and such darkness—such that he would take his own life? We may doubt the strength of his faith but we need not doubt the power of the light of the world, Jesus Christ. Nothing keeps the Light of the World from shining in the souls of His people. What does the Psalmist say? Psalm 139:7-12
[7] Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? [8] If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in [the grave], you are there! [9] If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, [10] even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. [11] If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be as night,” [12] even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
No, beloved, even when the darkness shall cover a child of God and the light all around is as night, still He is there. This is what the Lord does for all who put their faith in Him. Yes: it can get dark in this world—so utterly dark and despairing. But the darkest of this world cannot put out the light that is from another world: the world of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. To have the Light of life is to have life that will not be extinguished by any act of angels or of men. Receive and rest in this light. Your hearts might be troubled, and so they are; but take heart, there is One who has overcome the trouble. His name?
I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.
Let us pray.
Bent World 
Thanks for uploading, Gabe.