Author: Silva

All…ya’ll

Silva

Every year I have a season where I rediscover a basic Christian discipline.  Usually it’s prayer; I recognize that my prayer times have flagged, that I’m getting a bit more anxious or angry quicker than I should, etc.  Recently it was the discipline of regular reading of the Bible.  The Bible is a story about a Man, Jesus.  It tells me that He has done something His Father asked Him to do and it involves me.  It is a wonderful story full of intrigue, unexpected plot twists, death and even resurrection.  The story ends well for Him and, therefore, it ends well for me.  Why wouldn’t I want to read and re-read a story that ended well for me?!

Nonetheless, in my reading I’ve been making my way through the songbook of the Bible, the Psalms.  Today it is Psalm 34.  I was dumbfounded (literally, stopped cold in my reading) by the writer’s use of the word “all.”

I sought the LORD and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears (34:4)

This poor man cried and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles (34:6)

When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles (34:17)

All my fears…all his troubles…all their troubles.  There’s one more use of it in the Psalm that I’ll save for the end but these are astounding assertions.  In fact, the same writer says:

Oh, taste and see that LORD is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!

I guess so!  That man who takes refuge in the Lord will have all of his fear and troubles taken away.  Of course, if you’re still reading (as I’m still thinking) you might want to jump to the many examples of where you cried out to Him and your situation did not change.  Life brings with it the temptation to call God a liar, doesn’t it?  We might not say that out loud, but like Abraham’s wife, Sarah, we laugh at the thought of God doing what He says He’d do.  Life also brings with it an opportunity to “dumb down” the ALL-ness of statements like these in the Psalms.

But, both are true: the ALL-ness of these promises God makes in the Bible and the difficulties in our lives that seem intractable.  Unfortunately, many among us (me, included) will be tempted to tilt toward the half-empty viewpoint and dismiss the largeness of the promises of God and His power with it.  And so we either don’t read the Bible (because it reminds us of things that don’t make sense) or we read it and we dumb down the things it says.  What do we do?

Keep reading the Psalm:

Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers him out of them all (34:19)

The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned (34:22)

And so the song ends.  The scope of God’s gaze concerning our lives extends far beyond what we can see and what we can imagine.  The Bible never shirks away from the facts of pain and suffering; neither did this Psalm that so lavishly spoke of the promises of God.  Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him and he is not condemned.  My regular issue is that the scope of the gaze of my life is that I not experience any of the difficulty that I regularly do.  I define a blessed life in terms of the absence of bad things.  God defines a blessed life by the presence of intimate relationship with Him (remember 34:8?).  A definition like that is big enough to include bad things and good things; mine is not.

The burden of the righteous is to work hard to make sense out of the difficulties that come their way AND the lavish promises of God.  It is not easy to see how they work together.  But, it really is like gardening: breaking up clods, pulling roots and weeds, spraying against disease, watering, etc. eventually yields produce which brings contentment.  Sweat on the front end, sweetness in the end.  I am reminded today to remember that I should work harder to see the ways that the Lord has, in fact, heard my prayers and answered them.  And, to dwell on the greatest answer of all: that He has said because of Jesus Christ, I am not condemned by my sins (as I should be) and am His son and part of His family.  This is a great story!

Guest post: Helicopter Parenting

Guest post: Helicopter Parenting

Silva

I heard recently that a friend of mine was doing some reading on parenting.  (Here’s one that I found.)  She told me later that it was “helicopter parenting.” She has a great deal of experience as a parent of older kids as well as a mentor to moms so I was interested.  I asked her to blog on this and here’s what she said:

There’s a phenomenon becoming rampant in our society – it’s Helicopter Parenting. This term was coined several years ago by universities that began noticing that more and more parents were trying to be over-involved in their students’ lives as they went off to college – everything from roommate issues to school schedules to making to-do lists for their children.  One mother even admits to driving two hours each way every single week to clean her son’s dorm room and do his laundry!  Technology has been instrumental in allowing parents to remain very active and involved in their young adults’ lives after they leave home.  The cell phone has been called the world’s longest umbilical cord.

However, this term is also now being used for parents with children of all ages.  Many parents today (usually more moms than dads) want to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives.  They plan their schedules to the minute, which seldom leaves free play time – crucial for children to learn how to be creative and work with peers and friends.  Parents also are becoming more and more involved and vocal in their children’s school and sports.  It is now the norm for a parent to fight for better grades for their children (no matter what is actually deserved) and to demand a better position or playing time on sports teams.  Why?  For success!

But what is success? Good grades, right school, star athlete, scholarship, best college, good job (meaning lots of money)?  That is not how God measures success – that is achieving the American Dream.

How does God measure success?  By things such as a right relationship with Him, being a vital part of His Kingdom and helping to advance that, showing care and concern for others.  This is how He measures success for all of His children – from the youngest to the oldest.  Our children are called to serve Him as soon as they truly surrender to Him.  Not just planning for when they “grow up.”  But right now!  As a small child, they can do many things including praying for others, collecting for the poor, saving for tithes and offerings to their church, showing kindness to another child who needs it, etc.

Ultimately as they grow up, serving God might mean a good education and professional job.  It might mean raising a family at home.  It might mean going to a foreign and dangerous place to share His Gospel and His love.  Success in God’s kingdom is surrender and obedience.  THAT is what we need to prepare our children for.

Two ways to parent :  fear-based or trust-based.  Many parent through fear.  Fear that their children will not “succeed,” fear that their children will not be safe in this world, fear that if they don’t give their children every possible opportunity to experience sports and dance and clubs they have failed.  But God calls us to parent by trusting Him for their futures.  We are to teach them about His Word and His character, how to truly surrender to Him, and about His Kingdom and their place in it.  Help them learn to listen for His voice, show them how to serve Him from the time they are very young.

Then – don’t hover.  Help them learn how to make good, Biblical decisions; trust God; help them learn  through their failures – and set them free to obey God’s call on their lives, wherever that may take them.

Women, Stop Submitting to Men!

Silva

Wow.

Weekly I get an email with an article digest.  Last week there was an article that caught my eye by the same title of this post.  I’ve linked to it here.

Years ago I wrote a post titled “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” that kicked up some dust because in it and subsequent to it, I explained that in the Bible, there are no categories for “boyfriend,” “girlfriend” or “lover” and since that is true, PDA (premarital displays of affection) were prohibited.

Dr. Russell Moore in the linked article re-opens that discussion in a way that is very important.  Read the article.  I’d love to know what you think!