I heard recently that a friend of mine was doing some reading on parenting.  (Here’s one that I found.)  She told me later that it was “helicopter parenting.” She has a great deal of experience as a parent of older kids as well as a mentor to moms so I was interested.  I asked her to blog on this and here’s what she said:

There’s a phenomenon becoming rampant in our society – it’s Helicopter Parenting. This term was coined several years ago by universities that began noticing that more and more parents were trying to be over-involved in their students’ lives as they went off to college – everything from roommate issues to school schedules to making to-do lists for their children.  One mother even admits to driving two hours each way every single week to clean her son’s dorm room and do his laundry!  Technology has been instrumental in allowing parents to remain very active and involved in their young adults’ lives after they leave home.  The cell phone has been called the world’s longest umbilical cord.

However, this term is also now being used for parents with children of all ages.  Many parents today (usually more moms than dads) want to be involved in every aspect of their children’s lives.  They plan their schedules to the minute, which seldom leaves free play time – crucial for children to learn how to be creative and work with peers and friends.  Parents also are becoming more and more involved and vocal in their children’s school and sports.  It is now the norm for a parent to fight for better grades for their children (no matter what is actually deserved) and to demand a better position or playing time on sports teams.  Why?  For success!

But what is success? Good grades, right school, star athlete, scholarship, best college, good job (meaning lots of money)?  That is not how God measures success – that is achieving the American Dream.

How does God measure success?  By things such as a right relationship with Him, being a vital part of His Kingdom and helping to advance that, showing care and concern for others.  This is how He measures success for all of His children – from the youngest to the oldest.  Our children are called to serve Him as soon as they truly surrender to Him.  Not just planning for when they “grow up.”  But right now!  As a small child, they can do many things including praying for others, collecting for the poor, saving for tithes and offerings to their church, showing kindness to another child who needs it, etc.

Ultimately as they grow up, serving God might mean a good education and professional job.  It might mean raising a family at home.  It might mean going to a foreign and dangerous place to share His Gospel and His love.  Success in God’s kingdom is surrender and obedience.  THAT is what we need to prepare our children for.

Two ways to parent :  fear-based or trust-based.  Many parent through fear.  Fear that their children will not “succeed,” fear that their children will not be safe in this world, fear that if they don’t give their children every possible opportunity to experience sports and dance and clubs they have failed.  But God calls us to parent by trusting Him for their futures.  We are to teach them about His Word and His character, how to truly surrender to Him, and about His Kingdom and their place in it.  Help them learn to listen for His voice, show them how to serve Him from the time they are very young.

Then – don’t hover.  Help them learn how to make good, Biblical decisions; trust God; help them learn  through their failures – and set them free to obey God’s call on their lives, wherever that may take them.

Wow.

Weekly I get an email with an article digest.  Last week there was an article that caught my eye by the same title of this post.  I’ve linked to it here.

Years ago I wrote a post titled “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” that kicked up some dust because in it and subsequent to it, I explained that in the Bible, there are no categories for “boyfriend,” “girlfriend” or “lover” and since that is true, PDA (premarital displays of affection) were prohibited.

Dr. Russell Moore in the linked article re-opens that discussion in a way that is very important.  Read the article.  I’d love to know what you think!

Here is our Key Doctrines of the Christian Faith Syllabus for our Winter / Spring study.

On Monday, we had scheduled meetings with the staff and leadership team.  As we prepared for the trip, we knew that they were going to ask us to press into certain church and staff life areas.  God had been doing some amazing things that there pressing the staff organizationally and personally!  They were excited and hopeful that they could stay on top of the wave.  We were very interested in meeting with them to hear what their plans were for the year and (mostly) to hear what God has been doing in their midst.

The whole staff crew was assembled and Daniel laid out the top priorities for the year: discipleship / small groups and outward / community outreach topped the list.  As we talked through these things, we began to see that God seemed to be doing some e-x-p-a-n-s-i-o-n work at the Hamburgprojekt.

Here’s what we mean: these core priorities had been a part of the “DNA” since the beginning.  As we talked though, we realized that God had been doing two “new” things: leadership raising and church planting.  The Hamburgprojekt, like its sister churches in the network, had planted with two men teams.  They would gather a leadership team around them with members who would focus on certain ministry areas.  Inevitably, the church would grow – and the shepherding task would grow.  As I watched this happen, and see the pressure mount on the leadership team, I mentioned to them that there is an organizational structure that can care for a church of 50 or of 500.  Elders and deacons.  As the staff at the Hamburgprojekt considered these things, they saw that God had been slowly raising leaders in their midst to fill these roles.  It is shocking and exciting to see God at work in areas where we are not (yet!).

Secondly, God had brought to the Hamburprojekt a series of conversations and men who were interested in partnering with the church to plant other churches.  One such place is Wilhelmsburg, a river island on the Elbe (more on that later).  In other words, while they are focused on the things that make a church healthy and faithful (if there’s a difference) God was bringing people to them so the Church (big “C”) could grow.  It was dizzying to think through.  The Hamburgprojekt is barely 3 years old and God was already positioning them to possibly plant other churches in other places in North Germany.

We’ll tell you about one such place when we get to Thursday…

What an amazing vision God has – and He let’s us partner with Him!